DarknessTakeMyHand

Lying, dying, screaming, crying... slipping further into this cold dark and lonely prison of my own making... hating myself more with every breath I take. Hurting with all the lies that I tell myself... becoming lost in thoughts that bind me to this painful place... falling more apart everyday until all that is left are the shadows of my former self.

It is said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"... but I have found that in this life words cut the deepest, hollow you out, and stay with you the longest... taking forever to heal the wounds and pain that someone's words caused you. Hearing the words contiually screaming and echoing through your soul... ripping at you just for the fun of it... making you believe that you are not worthy of being happy, loved, or beautiful... turning you against yourself.

A light shines in a darkened room, pushing aside the misery and gloom. It wraps me up in a warm embrace and dries the tears on my face. My spirit soars when the light is around, smiles and laughter always abound. If I cry its only happy tears, for the light chases away my doubts and fears. The light keeps me safe and steady, with its gentleness at the ready. It helps to mend the hurt and pain so that one day I'll be whole again.

My tears fall down like a gentle rain, along my cheeks and past my smile that masks my hidden pain. It haunts my thoughts and my dreams, piercing my heart with its quiet screams. Do not ask me what it is for I would tell you a lie, my secret has to stay locked away forever in my heart even when I cry.

I want to fly I want to soar I want to get away from it all To leave this pain and be free To have no more hurt inflicted on me I want to smile I want to laugh I want to find peace in my soul To leave this pain and be free To have no more hurt inflicted on me I want to live I want to love I want to find the one who will make me whole To stop this pain and set me free To heal this hurt that dwells inside of me

Stop what you are saying you are pushing me away. Your words are drilling a hole in me causing hurt every day. I know you don't realize it for I have not told how I feel. That you made me feel broken,cheap and used and these wounds you left will take time to heal. Your words continually drip venom stinging me with constant pain. I'm sorry for the hurt I will cause you but I will NOT take your crap again.

Constant, burning heart shattering, soul tearing Pain Always there lurking,waiting claws extended to inflict on me Pain Can't think, breathe driven to my knees by more Pain Slowly, torturously being ripped apart by Pain

Lost and confused lonely and sad tears on my face I'm hurting so bad. It's becoming to much but must carry on can't breakdown I got to be strong. No matter what else comes I'll still be here drifting away until you draw me near.

Moving cautiously but fast I make my way down this darkened path. I cannot see what lies ahead but the echoing footsteps fills my heart with dread. Lost, scared and alone I keep searching for the path that will lead me home. Left, straight or right I don't know which path I should take. Running from my fear I hope that the light will be drawing near. For I don't want to be spinning in circles when I want to be free.

New hurt, new pain comes at me in waves leaving me crying and looking for a way out. I try to catch my breath but everyday it seems that something else happens that brings me to my knees. A moment of peace, love, happiness is all that I am looking for but to no avail can never seem to find. They hide from me and leave me with nothing except for a confused, hopeless state of mind.

Twirling the strands of time between my fingertips. Watching a memory portal open as visions swirl around to come face to face with me once again. The times between good ones are so few and far between. Clear, silvery drops fall to the ground gathering around me. Minutes pass by as a small puddle of bittersweet tears cascade down my face to plunge into the pool that has formed at my feet. Each tear a moment in time remembered. I begin to sink into the salty memorial of life gone by and still the liquid flows freely. I begin to float on a sea of sorrow with a rare, occassional wave of happiness to gently rock me through the dead calm that has

On my face these masks I've Wore, Preacher / Zombie dance once more. They laugh and spin and fight another, As they try to stop or top each other. So I sit in Silence watching lore, of these Preacher / Zombie masks Iv'e wore.

Maneuvering through ten thousand consecrated trees moistened with morning drizzle the little creature dances joyfully eternally condemned to the pendulum that is its life. Slowly crafting  and decorating a blade from hilt to end, tired of being considered evil, a bad spirit, lighting the incense calling for the spiritual fire. Caressing the hot velvet like drips from the candle , enjoying the hot wax simmering the flesh. Overburdened. Sacrificing life to defend its own. A vast, unending danger filling the sacred forest, an eerie mist slightly touching its skin, healing , hardening the hot wax, camouflaging the soul ,a soul to share with n

She stares out into the night seeing the life that drifts by her. Tears fall like petals from a flower to litter the ground. She sees the enjoyment people partake in their daily routines and longs to be a part of it all. She looks down at her feet, firmly planted into the ground and longs to take a step towards the realm of the living. Her stillness has created her prison within the dirt and she has become a part of the scenery instead of the beholder of the scene. A gentle wind blows and tussels her leaves as a few drift off in the breeze. A heavy sigh escapes and she settles in for the death of winter to strip her once again. To die and the

Lingering emotions swirl within the chaos of her mind. Slowly getting lost within the ever churning darkness that dwells within. Feelings of love, happiness and hope disappear as soon as they surface by the overwhelming sense of dispair and loneliness. She roams around an endless sea of anxiety trying to find a way out but always running into yet another wall that seemingly raises out of nothing. Locked within the depths of her thoughts, she screams and the echos that come back nearly drive her to madness. She slumps to her knees and covers her ears, clamping her eyes shut as tight as she can, trying to ward off the sound of insanity that rev

She stares out into the quiet peaceful night. She can hear her heart beating strong and fast. So many emotions churning within that makes her want to scream. She holds back for fear of breaking the silence. A tear runs down her cheek and spills onto the ground where it instantly soaks into the earth. She is worn and tired from the chaos within her mind and prays for release. The same prayer she has given over and over again and is never met. She clenches her fist as she closes her eyes. Anger, pain, sadness, confusion, depression and resentment all torment her soul. The combination is too strong and claws at her chest wanting to be freed from